


the love we buried

by kittenyoongs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amnesiac Castiel (Supernatural), Bad Boy Dean Winchester, Bon Jovi Songs, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff, Heavy Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I suck at tagging sorry, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, It’s Complicated, Lawyers, M/M, Meant To Be, Other, Past Abuse, Retrograde Amnesia, Sad and Happy, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, True Love, but also some soft and cute shit, cas crowley elite duo, cas crowley meg superior trio, cas meg besties, just lots of angst really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29696091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenyoongs/pseuds/kittenyoongs
Summary: What started as a playful, budding romance between engineering mischief Dean Winchester and law prodigy Castiel Novak became a force of light that burned bright and fiercely even in the face of adversity. Nevertheless, there was only so much tragedy a relationship could handle.Eight years later, memories of their relationship were forced to resurface as their love is ultimately tested when Castiel is appointed to be the lawyer defending Dean from a potential death sentence.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys so I've been wanting to write this for quite some time like I've had the idea for months but I never really got to it and even now honestly I'm still having some gaps but I'm working through them and just going where the story takes me! 
> 
> This one really is out of my comfort zone because confession: I have absolutely no clue how lawyers and shit in the courthouse works hahahaha but I really, really wanted to write this so as hard as I’m trying to work my way around it pls do forgive me for the technicalities or any mistakes because I'm using my knowledge from google and law enforcement tv shows lol ahahahaha 
> 
> Also!! If you need help imagining what they look like because there are two different timeframes in which this story takes place so for the present (2007), I’m going for Misha in Reinventing the Wheelers and Jensen in basically the first season of SPN hehe and for the flashbacks (1999), I’m going for Misha in Liberty Heights and Jensen in Cybill!
> 
> Anyways sorry for rambling and I genuinely hope that you guys will enjoy the story! do leave comments, i like reading them :)

Wednesday, 17 October 2007 

  
  


Cas shifted his body as he pulled the woolen blanket draped over him closer to his face. It was cold, the huffing wind stirring the flaps of his curtains but he was too lazy to get up and close the window. He smiled softly, lullabied to sleep by the soft tinkling of the first pearls of rain. The sound was like the glassy clinking of a champagne flute, lilting and clear. 

All of a sudden, Cas felt soft warm skin embrace him from the back as a pair of muscular arms wrapped themselves around his torso and a pair of legs cuddling his own. He was surprised but oddly something about it brought a very heartwarming feeling of familiarity and comfort that washed over him instantly. 

“Cas?” 

“Hm?” 

“Cas?” 

“Yeah?” Suddenly Cas felt the hands caressing his body turn cold. Ice cold. Like the temperature of a human body dropping after its heart stops beating. 

“What is– AHHH!!” Cas screamed as he turned around and came face to face with a skull head attached to a decomposing body. It was bloody, there was hardly any skin left and when Cas tried to get away, he couldn’t because somehow the corpse’s limbs had stiffened around his own body. 

Cas closed his eyes and continued screaming as he tried to crawl out of the corpse’s grip that only felt like it was tightening around him even more with every passing minute. Cas screamed and screamed, his lungs running out of air as he felt the grip constrict around his chest and if it went any further, his ribs might just crush. 

“Cas? Cas! Cas!” A voice was calling out to him. “Cas, wake up!” 

Cas immediately opened his eyes and found himself in his best friend’s embrace. 

“Meg?” He blinked. “Oh god, Meg!” 

“Hey, hey shh… I’m here now. I’m here.” Meg reassured, cradling Cas like a parent comforting their child after a frightening nightmare. “Is it one of those bad dreams again?” 

“Yeah…” Cas groaned, pinching his temple. 

“I guess you’re lucky I got spare keys to your apartment.” Meg chuckled. 

Cas rolled his eyes. “You mean you _stole_ them and you’re never going to give them back because you think I need someone to keep an eye on me.”

Meg shrugged. “I mean, you really should do something about it, you know. It’s not normal to constantly have bad dreams. It might be serious.” 

“You mean like night terrors?” 

Meg nodded. “My mom used to have them. I saw what they did to her. It’s really bad.” 

“It’s just a couple of bad dreams, okay? They don’t mean anything.” 

“I’m pretty sure your therapist will think otherwise.” 

“Yeah well my therapist wouldn’t _have_ to know if someone doesn’t snoop around being a busybody.” Cas raised his eyebrows and Meg pouted. 

“Why do you always act like it’s such a bad thing to care? Is it _that_ hard to believe someone actually wants the best for you?” 

Cas sighed as he got off the bed. “You know I don’t mean it like that. I know your intentions are genuine and that you’ve always been there for me when I needed it. It’s just that with your mom’s chemo and your dad’s rehab and then the whole abortion thing with your sister… I know it’s a lot on your plate and I don’t want you to have to feel like you’re responsible for me too just because I helped you before.” 

Meg smiled softly. “I’m not helping you because I feel a sense of responsibility or because I feel like I have a debt to owe you. I’m looking out for you because you’re my best friend and I made a promise to your parents. So now _promise_ me that when you go see your therapist tomorrow, you’ll tell her about your night terrors.” 

“We still don’t know if that’s what it is.” 

“Castiel Novak, I _will_ punch you.” The brunette threatened and Cas laughed. 

“I’m just joking! I promise I will, okay.” Meg smiled again and smooched Cas on the cheek before going over to the kitchen. Cas hopped in the shower while Meg prepared breakfast as she always did. It kind of became a routine that Cas admitted he didn’t always like because as he would say, _invasion of personal space_ but when it came down to it, he never was once ungrateful to have Meg around. She kind of always kept him in check for as long as he could remember. 

When Cas was done, he joined Meg in the kitchen where she had prepared a vast assembly of pancakes, beans and omelette as well as coffee just the way he liked it. 

“Three cups? Who’s the third one for?” Cas asked, ruffling his damp brown hair up with his towel. 

“Me, of course.” Someone replied in a husky English accent and Cas turned around to see Crowley leaning at the door with a bag of bagels. 

Meg smiled. “Just in time.” 

“Who invited you? Are we celebrating something?”

“Oh come on, don’t be mean.” Crowley rolled his eyes and pecked Meg on the cheek. “But if we’re on the topic of celebrations, my daughter just did her first cartwheel yesterday.” 

“Impossible!” Meg gasped as Crowley took out his phone to show the video he had captured of his little girl. They all cooed at how adorable she was. 

The trio sat round the kitchen island and dug in the spread of food on the counter. Meg hunched over, grabbing a file out of her bag. “I got this from records. His brother called yesterday requesting a lawyer.” 

Cas tilted his head as he reached for the file, opening it. 

“Dean Winchester. Male, born 1980. Studied engineering at Liberty College but dropped out to go to military school. Expelled within a month after getting caught with possession of LSD and other psychedelic drugs for which he served two years in prison. Then got back to school and completed his degree. Last known job as a mechanical engineer at Ketch Enterprise.” Cas read as his finger traced the words. “What’s he in for?” 

Meg sipped her coffee. “Apparently, murder. I heard they’re declaring capital punishment.”

“Honestly other than the drugs and occasional theft and harassment, he doesn’t seem capable of murder.” Crowley shrugged.

“No one ever seems capable of murder, Crowley. But I get what you mean. In fact, there were rumours saying he claimed that he was framed for the drugs. But there was no proof and so the school did what they do best. Sweep everything under the rug.” 

“How do you know?” 

“It’s military school, dude. They always have something to hide. It’s how you know they care about nothing but their power and reputation.” 

“You seem to have a personal vendetta against military schools.” 

Meg sighed. “When I was younger, my parents forced my baby brother into military school. Sure he was a troubled kid but he was only twelve, you know? At first I thought okay maybe it’ll do him some good but eventually he got obsessed with the whole military thing. It was all he wanted to do, it was like he didn’t have a life outside of the place anymore. And then one day, he just collapsed during training. Cardiac arrest, they said.” 

“I don’t know what they did to him but my brother was never the same since they put him in there. For years I blamed his death on our parents and sometimes I still hate them for it but…” Meg lifted her shoulders, pursing her lips. “Well, it’s the past right?” 

“Meg, man, I’m so sorry I didn’t know.” Crowley apologised, squeezing her shoulder gently. He turned to Cas. “You’re awfully quiet.” 

Cas was snapped out of his trance. “Oh sorry. So um, what do they have on him?” 

“His DNA. Everywhere on the crime scene. The weapon, the victim.” 

Cas frowned. “Then that’s pretty much a case closed, isn’t it?” 

“Well, get this. When I spoke to his brother Sam, he said that Dean insisted he was being framed.” 

“He sure is being framed a lot, huh?” Crowley chuckled inappropriately and Meg shot him a dirty look. “Sorry I mean, Cas is right. They got his DNA match to the scene. _And_ he has no alibi, correct? If let’s say assuming he’s really not guilty, then it’s going to take _a lot_ to prove it.”

“Yeah and why do you think his brother came to us?” 

“Because we’re the damn best lawyers in the city.” Cas chuckled.

“Damn straight you are and if there’s anyone who can get to the bottom of this, it’s you guys.” Meg concluded.

He and Crowley knew Meg was right. If this Dean Winchester was as innocent as he claimed to be, then he will do everything in his power to help him. After all, that was what he wanted to become a lawyer to do. To fight for the lives of the innocents and protect the victims of an unjust system. Sure the odds would be difficult but as Cas liked to say, fortune favours the bold.

* * *

After breakfast, Meg went back to their office while Cas and Crowley headed to the custody suite downtown where their client was said to be held in remand. He had obviously been denied bail due to the magnitude of his accused crime. 

They passed by a holding cell where officers waited with the prisoners awaiting entry to the suite and cut through a processing area where custody officers processed the prisoners whom the police brought in.

“Morning gentlemen.” As expected, most of the officers recognised Cas and Crowley and would greet them. After all it wasn’t their first time meeting with clients in the suite.

They continued to walk further down passing by several designated interview rooms, admin offices and a room they used for identification parades. They took the lift up two floors and passed by a number of cells through the east wing where the prisoners were detained before reaching the consultation rooms where said prisoners could consult with their legal representatives. 

Inside, the man they believed to be Dean Winchester was sitting on the other side of the glass panel. Just like the picture in the file, the man had short brown hair that looked like it was slightly disheveled on purpose at the top, slightly tanned skin dotted with mildly noticeable freckles and a short stubble. He seemed to be in a daze, slouching with his head resting on his palms. 

Cas cleared his throat as he took a seat in front of the glass panel, directly opposite Dean. The man looked up and their eyes met. 

“Cas?”

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again so I'm back with the second chapter! I'll try my best to update regularly so I don't keep you guys waiting for too long. I really hope you like it and if you do, don't forget to leave kudos and comments! :)

Saturday, 4 December 1999

  
  


Dean remembers the night he met Castiel. It was freezing, the type of coldness that reaches for your bones. The red, orange hues of the setting sun had slowly faded, turning the night sky into a matte black canvas with no stars to be looked upon. 

The wintry air swirled around Dean, taking every lick of warmth it could as he ran down the street, feeling the icy sidewalk beneath his boots.

Dean was being chased by some buff men in tattoos whom he just couldn’t seem to shake off. They were hot on his heels, armed with knives and daggers. _At least they didn’t have guns_ , Dean thought. Until one of them attempted to hurl their dagger at him with what was pretty insane precision and would have went straight through Dean’s skull had he not ducked. 

Dean ran as fast as his legs could carry him, going in zig zags, jumping over trashcans and sliding over cars. He would dash across the street and make sharp turns, hopefully to throw the men off but they didn’t seem to be giving up. 

“Come back here you fucking rascal!” 

Dean made a left into an alleyway and pulled down the ladder from the fire escape, pretending to go on it before quickly hiding among some cardboard boxes and trash. He watched as the men rolled in the alley, one of them pointing to the ladder and signalling the others to follow the trail up to the roof while some went around the block instead. 

Dean snickered when they left. “Oh you guys really are dumber than I thought.”

But he knew better than to take his chances with Alastair’s men. He pulled out his phone and texted someone before sneaking out of the alley. He kept low, spotting the men lurking in the shadows. _Shit I gotta get off the streets,_ he thought. 

Dean scanned the province and his eyes were drawn to a bar round the corner. He made a run for it and immediately jumped over the counter to hide once he was inside.

“Hey! What the-“ The guy Dean assumed was the bartender, yelped in surprise. Dean just glared at him, putting his finger over his lips as a sign to keep quiet. 

The bartender frowned, glancing outside the window. Dean heard the bell go off when two of the men who were after him opened the door to the bar. 

“Anyone come in here?” 

“Did you not see the sign, nitwit? We’re closed.” The bartender snorted and Dean couldn’t tell if he was just sarcastic or truly annoyed. 

His remark seemed to piss one of the men off but before he could retaliate, his friend stopped him. “Prick like him’s not worth it. Come on, we still got to find that motherfucker.” 

Shortly after they left, the bartender turned to Dean who was still cowered beneath the counter.

“Okay what the actual hell is going on? You almost got me in trouble.” 

But Dean simply chuckled. “Honestly, I think you handled it pretty well... _Cas_.” 

“How did you-“ Cas mumbled, confused, before realising Dean had grabbed hold of his wallet and was mindlessly going through its contents. 

“It’s Castiel to you, by the way. Only my friends get to call me Cas.” He scoffed, snatching his wallet back.

“You saved my life. That makes us friends.” 

“No. That just makes me an unwilling accomplice to whatever messed up shit you’re in.” Cas retorted. Dean watched him arranged the bottles on the back counter. 

He was about the same height as he was, tall and thin but not the lanky kind. Even with a dirty apron over him and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, he still appeared so _graceful_ . His soft brown hair that was neatly parted to the side, his lightly tanned skin and defined cheekbones that enhanced his side profile. _Show off_ , Dean thought. Yet he couldn’t help but to feel his curiosity piqued by this aura of natural elegance that Cas had around him. 

“You’re so pissy.” 

“And you smell like a dead rat.” Cas deadpanned, to which Dean made a face and discreetly smelled himself when the former wasn’t looking.

“But it’s Axe bodyspray.” Dean supposed maybe a little of the stench from when he was hiding amongst the trash must have stuck to his leather jacket. 

“Okay look, whatever.” Cas rolled his eyes, wiping the tables. “But if you’re done, I’d very much like it for you to leave so I can finish cleaning up and go home.” 

“You don’t even know my name.” 

Cas shrugged, shoving Dean aside who was following him around like a sick puppy. “I don’t really care.” 

“It’s Dean.” He said, putting his hand out to shake. 

“Good to know,” Cas smiled sarcastically, ignoring his hand. “I won’t remember it.” 

“With this gorgeous face, I think I’m pretty hard to forget.” Dean teased, brushing his fingers through his middle parted hair. But Cas only stared at him unamused. 

“You done?” A feminine voice echoed through the bar and both boys turned towards the door where a woman in a sheriff’s outfit was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. 

“Sheriff Mills?” 

“Oh Jody, you’re here!” Dean exclaimed and Cas looked at him, surprised to see the relief wash over him as the sheriff entered the bar.

“It’s Sheriff Mills to you too, young man.” She scowled but Dean knew she wasn’t really mad. More worried. She always was. That’s how he knew he could count on her no matter what. She had considered herself a mother figure to Dean although the latter would argue it was more of an older sister-younger brother type of relationship. 

Jody looked at Dean, her face softened. She sighed, squeezing Dean’s shoulders. “You know damn well not to mess with Alastair, right? And I’ve told you before, you don’t have to do everything your dad tells you to.”

“You know you can’t protect me from my dad.” Dean smiled but there was a tint of sadness in it that caught Cas’s attention. “But what you can protect me from is those men out there.”

Dean smiled cheekily and Jody smiled back, ruffling his hair. “A free ride home. Of course.” She turned to face Cas who still had a tinge of confusion lingering on his face. “On behalf of this _knucklehead_ , I’m sorry for any trouble he’s caused you tonight.”

For the first time that night, Dean saw Cas smile and it wasn’t out of sarcasm or spite. A soft, genuine smile. “It’s fine, Sheriff. I was just closing up.”

“Alright then, we’ll let you get to it.”

But just before they walked out the door, Dean turned around to catch a final glimpse of the bartender. “So I’ll see you around... _Cas_.”

* * *

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

  
  


Cas looked at the man behind the glass, frowning and admittedly surprised. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise we were on a first name basis. Let alone a nickname.” 

Dean only stared ahead into Cas’s eyes and the latter noticed how green they were, like the sweet hue of spring clover. Even as Cas looked away, Dean’s gaze didn’t falter. 

“Cas.” He repeated, except this time it was more of an affirmation rather than a question. “Do you... do you not remember?” 

“I’m sorry, remember what?” 

“Me. Re-Remember me?” 

Cas raised his eyebrows, chuckling lightly. “Mr Winchester, I assure you that we’ve never met.”

“Please, just call me Dean.” 

“Alright so Dean, we’re your criminal defense attorneys and we will be-“

“You were in a coma, weren’t you?” Dean suddenly asked. It was question that no doubt caught Cas off guard entirely. 

He frowned. “How did you know that?” 

Crowley felt awkward and chuckled dryly. “Gentlemen, I’m afraid that’s not what we’re here to talk about.” 

But Dean simply pressed on. “I’m telling you, I know you. And you know me too.” 

“Okay, is this some kind of sick joke?” Cas asked, clearly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going.

“Cas, you _know_ me! Please, y-you gotta have _some_ kind of memory of me!” Dean cried out with much desperation as there was exasperation. Cas almost felt bad for not believing him but how could he? He walked into the room thinking it was just another day, another case and now his client, an absolute stranger on the other side of the glass, is despairingly insisting that they know each other. It was obviously too much for Cas to take in.

“Dean, I’m afraid that’s enough.” Crowley interrupted but Dean was not having it.

“No Cas, you gotta listen to me okay? My name is Dean Winchester. We met in December 1999. We-“ 

“What?” 

Crowley turned to Cas who was just as shocked as he was. “You’re implying that you met Mr Novak eight years ago?” 

“I swear it.” Dean said, more begging actually. It was in his voice, his eyes. It wasn’t the kind of sad because Cas couldn’t believe him. It was the kind of sad where he was just too tired of everything going wrong in his life and Cas was the only hope he had left, to make things right again.

“Was it you then? You asked your brother to contact me?” 

“What? No. The night I left, I... I never looked for you again.” There was a hint of regret in his voice. Cas noticed. “I just told Sam to get me the best lawyer he could. I-I can’t go back to prison for something I didn’t do.” 

“Uh Dean,” Crowley pursed his lips, swallowing hard. “You are aware that it’s not a prison sentence if the court finds you guilty, right?”

“Wh-what?” 

“Prosecution is looking at a death sentence.” Cas said softly, knowing how awful that is going to sound to Dean who already looked like he was about to burst into tears.

“No... No, no, no, I didn’t do it! Cas, you know me. I would _never_ do something like this. You have to believe me, you _have_ to!”

Cas turned to look at Crowley and then back at Dean. He didn’t know what to think. It was all too overwhelming, like an avalanche of emotions had run over him. Was it shock? Relief? Fear? Curiosity? Cas didn’t know. But he couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out of the room. 

“Pl-please just, just give us... a minute.” Cas stuttered, rushing out with Crowley behind him. Cas leaned against the closed door, clutching his chest and taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart down.

Crowley rubbed Cas’s shoulders as the latter tried to recompose himself, before finally asking. “Do you know this guy? Because he seems to know you a great deal.” 

Cas sighed, his face still stricken with confusion. “I don’t- I don’t know, Crowley. I don’t remember. But he does. And if he knows me then he’s got to know about my past too.” 

“But that’s personal business, Cas!” Crowley snapped. “You can’t let it get in the way of our job. If Cain finds out you took this case on top of a personal matter, he’s not going to be happy about it and you know that.” 

“He doesn’t have to know.” 

“Cas-“ 

“Crowley, the only thing I’ve ever wanted is to find out my past. Eversince I woke up from that hospital bed, I’ve known nothing but emptiness. I’ve always felt like there’s this burning hole inside of me that I just can’t seem to fill no matter what.” Cas explained. “And I can’t ask my parents because they just won’t tell me the truth. The real truth. They’re hiding something and the only other person who has answers is counting down the days to his death behind that glass panel. I _can’t_ turn this case down.” 

Crowley sighed. “Then that begs the question, doesn’t it? Who are you really doing this for, Cas? Him? Or yourself?” 

Cas was silent. Of course he was doing it for Dean. If the man was truly innocent as he claimed, then he had to help. He was not going to let someone be incarcerated for a crime he didn’t commit. Doesn’t matter whether he knew him or not. 

But Cas also knew that Crowley was right. As a professional lawyer, he should know that mixing official business and personal matter is the absolute worst thing one could do. He knew the risks if he agreed to help Dean yet somehow, he was willing to take them. 

“I need those answers, Crowley. I can’t have them if he’s dead. So lord help me.” Cas pleaded and Crowley knew he didn’t really have a choice. Sure he still thought it was a stupid idea but he definitely wasn’t going to let Cas in on it alone. Even if it meant getting himself into trouble. 

After all, Cas still owed him for the all the times he’s had to cover his ass at work when Cain would come at him for some uncalled, reckless decision he made. But that’s just the way Castiel is. He never liked following orders. Never liked people telling him what to do. If he wanted to accomplish something, he would do it his way. It was precisely this self-reliance and confidence that Cain appreciated about Cas although sometimes he did wish the latter wasn’t always so impulsive.

“Fine.” Crowley nodded, finally giving in. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.” 

Cas hugged Crowley, uttering a thank you. They both walked back in the room where Dean was still anxiously waiting behind the glass panel.

Cas took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know who you are or why you know me but that’s not important right now. As your lawyers, we’re going to help you. You have our word. But you need to be honest with us. What happened on the night of the tenth of October?”


End file.
